Will it be Written this Year?

Every year we chant a prayer regarding how life will be lived this year... On Rosh Hashana we ask G-d to inscribe us in the Book of Life for the coming year. Who will live and who will die... who will be born and who will be stoned to death.. you get the point. Every year it's the same prayer and every year we ask for forgiveness for things we may have done to hurt others so that on Yom Kippur (10 days later) we will be sealed in the book of life as the sun sets.

So every year I have prayed and gone to services and even asked people to their face for forgivenss. I have done all the things I think G-d wants me to do and asks of me. My Rabbi said that all G-d wants is prayers from the heart. This I have accomplished because all I pray for is for life to be born within me so that I can have the chance to be a parent with those children. That is a prayer from my heart. When that prayer wasn't answered... I prayed for another path and another sign and was led down the adoption path. But I have to wonder... will it be written this year for us? Will it be written that a baby will be born or a child will be chosen to be in our lives?

At the time in the service when the prayer was chanted, Yiftach and I were sitting on the bimah and stood within 10 feet of the open ark with all the torahs dressed in white. I literally got goose bumps all over my arms when i chanted these lines. I don't know how much more my heart can take without breaking. I dont' know how much more time I want to wait to fill our house with many children.