Oct 27, 2006

My First Outing as a MOM

So yesterday, Thursday, October 26th, was my first day not going into work. While I am not totally feeling like a M-O-M yet, we did plan a day with Grandma, stroller, diaper bag, and baby. We went to Nordies shopping! Hadarya slept the entire time and was not so impressed with anything but their cafe at lunch time, where she happily chowed 3 oz and basked in the constant attention of people passing our table... or wait was that Mommy who basked in the comments??

It was a very interesting day for me as people constantly commented on my daughter and stopped to peek in the stroller (that took a little while to figure out how to work!). I know she's beautiful, that is now a more biased opinion than last week, and I dressed her in a cute pink outfit, but it just boggled my mind at the amount of people who stopped, stared, commented, engaged me in conversation about her, AND marveled at how amazing it was that I was out and about after 2 1/2 weeks of her birth. NO, I did not bother to correct their mindset and tell them that while she was 18 days old, I had NOT given birth to her, hence the ability to be in a store so soon after her arrival. I just smiled a big smile and said Thank You.

The doors were often held open for us going into stores (amazing, isn't it Sam?) and I know that I will get used to the questions, the comments, and probably advice along the way from strangers. Right now, it's still all new to me and I often forget that I know the answers to their questions about her weight, birth, how much she eats, etc. I am not just holding my friends child and therefore have to turn to her to find out the answers. I am Mommy and I know all about my daughter, Hadarya.

Oct 25, 2006

Surviving My First Week as a MOM

One week ago today about this time my beautiful daughter left the hospital and arrived into our home. For all the experience I have with children and my high comfort level of being with infants, nothing prepared me for the feelings that transpired the first night with my own baby in my own house.

The first night was scary, sleepless, frightening, nerve wracking, and full of new sounds and noises. We got very little sleep as we realized that there was a real live baby sleeping in a bassinet at the end of our bed. We wondered what all the sounds were and would we hear her cry? We didn't know exactly what her cries would sound like nor what they might mean since we'd fed her on a schedule at the hospital and didn't really hear the crying needs of our daughter.

We SURVIVED the first night and each day/night has gotten easier. We have begun to create a pattern for our nights and take turns getting up when our daughter needs us; which is only twice if we go to bed around 10:30. But I still find it hard to get things done...life is changing rapidly and I have to figure out how to let certain things go and work to accomplish other things. Tomorrow is my first day not working since our daughter came home and I am looking forward to figuring out our day and seeing what happens.

Oct 18, 2006

Getting Ready for our Daughter to Come Home

At 11 PM last night we spent some time trying to figure out the car seat. Not how to put it in the car (that comes this morning) but how to put the canopy together. It was a funny scene in our household since I locked the two pieces together BEFORE putting them throught the little space because I wanted to see how they worked. Well they work well, becuase we spent several minutes prodding, pushing, pulling, and many other things to get them apart to put them in the right place to work. All this so she can have a shade canopy! The laughter over the silly mechanism and our inability to figure it out relieved the tension over our life changing.

Today is the day I really become a parent. Today is the day I take full responsibility , 24 hours a day, for another human being. That is humbling and scary. I've wanted this day to come for so long yet these last 10 days have been very surreal that I am not so sure that they are happening for real.

I have spent the last 10 days in a blur and a state of extreme emotions. I think I had my last full night of sleep and I am sitting her quietly contemplating the turn of events. It is so hard to anticipate what is going to happen and how things will be.

Today is the 18th of October, a Wednesday. Eighteen is the number represented by the letters in Hebrew for the word that means life. It is an appropriate day to bring our daughter home.

10 days ago her birth mom did a courageous thing hat we were able to participate in... she gave this baby life. She physically gave birth and emotionally was able to give her a chance at life.

A life that we now get to mold, shape, be responsible for, hold, protect, and most of all, LOVE.

Oct 8, 2006

The Day Our LIfe Changed

Today was going to be an ordinary Sunday in our household. We slept late and had grand plans for things I can't really remember now. AND then the phone rang while I was in the shower totally soaked. Yiftach came rushing in and told me that Elise was on the phone and she had a baby for us. WHAT???? Pause.. rewind. Can you please repeat that?

We are blessed with a ton of friends who want us to be parents almost as badly as we want to be parents. They constantly share our story with people they know in hopes that they may know someone who wants to give a baby up for adoption. This has led us down several paths of anticiaption and excitement to have several things happening to for us. The latest is the call that came at 8:45 AM on 10/08/06. A doctor we know had a patient who came in to the hospital to give birth and wanted to give the baby up for adoption.

That baby was born at 11:17 AM weighing 6 lbs 10 oz and measuring 19 inches long. She came out looking beautiful with a head of dark hair and spent the next 1o days in the NICU. On Monday, 10.09 that baby's birth mom signed an independent adoption agreement to place her in our home and become our daughter. Our life has not been the same since.